How to Approach Behavior with Kids: The Pause Way
At Pause, we want kids to be and feel safe and loved.
We want them to be seen, heard and understood. The Pause Way of interacting with children is rooted in growing resilience. When interacting with kids, Pause staff and volunteers use trauma responsive interactions strategies. These approaches were shared with Pause for Parents, Play for Kids through the *Resilience Project. Through this approach, we model and teach kids to be present, stay curious and regulate their bodies and emotions.
We know that kids are kids, not mini grown ups.
As humans they, like adults, experience a wide range of emotions: small, medium, and big - all at varying levels of intensity about a variety of things. We allow kids to express their emotions and help them identify their needs. We teach co-regulation through practice and community by pairing connection with safe limits and boundaries.
Statistically, 60%-70% of human communication is nonverbal.
This means we all use our behavior to communicate what we need. Behavior, put simply, is what a person does that others can see. To understand a person, or a child, we must approach their behavior with curiosity so we can build our understanding.
Before Any Big Emotions Arise
We created our environment for kids to be kids in fun and safe ways that meet different levels of sensory, cognitive and physical needs. We have a variety of creative play spaces where kids can choose what they already enjoy, explore new activities and learn how to regulate their bodies and emotions. Kids have access to running, jumping, playing and quiet, safe spaces they can retreat to. Because these spaces are available to them as needed, we work with kids to identify their needs often before big feelings ever happen!
When Big Emotions Rise
During an event, Pause has staff who are trained in the Pause Way to help guide kiddos through tough moments in ways that are safe to them and other children who are present. They will help kids name their feelings, identify their needs, and co-create a plan for what to do next. Using the Reflect, Honor and Connect engagement style, we partner with kids in regulation.
When Big Emotions Spike
When a kiddo’s emotions get so big they cannot regulate and act in safe ways, we use Reflect, Honor, Connect along with the Safety Script as our guide to help set safe limits in a loving way. We call this a Pause Time-In with kids. Using these approaches we connect first through co-regulation before we problem solve together.
After Big Emotions Settle
We use creativity to imagine ways to repair any relational ruptures that may have occurred during those moments of big feelings. Using pretend play and imagination, we talk through what to do the next time a big feeling rises using the 3P Strategy (Predict, Practice, and Plan B).
Want to learn more about the Pause Way? Check out videos from our partners who created the Resilience Project interaction approaches HERE.
(*The Resilience Project was funded by Ohio Department of Developmental Disabilities and Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services and administered by Greater Cincinnati Behavioral Health Services working in partnership with Finding Hope and SoulBird Consulting.)