What does respite mean? So much more than you might think.
Respite. That’s “Pause speak” for any opportunity a caregiver gets to exhale. Take a break. Recharge their battery. With the 30-80 extra hours a week of caring for a child with extra needs, respite is a need we continuously hear from families. These extra hours caregivers accumulate mean less time for relationships - family relationships, marital relationships and even friendships. Caregivers have shared that the constant battle of defending their parenting strategies or explaining their child’s behavior can make relationships exhausting to maintain. Without these social relationships or connections, caregivers can fall towards the slippery slope of isolation.
Our goal at Pause is to eliminate the isolation and bring families from surviving to thriving. When families feel safe, seen and supported, they have the capacity to build connections and safe relationships - which we all need as human beings. Oftentimes, the relationships that blossom first within the Pause community are with other caregivers because life needs little explanation, judgment is reserved and a place to just show up as they are is provided. Caregivers and kids can fully be themselves which also means they can be fully present with each other.
In the beginning, Pause brings intentionality and organization to what we pray will turn into serendipitous connections. That could look like seating caregivers together at events because their stories run parallel or inviting them to join conversations with other parents who are facing similar struggles. The safe space Pause provides shifts over time to brave space they lean into, and little by little, we step out as caregivers grow their capacity for natural, organic relationships.
What happens next is truly the heart of Pause. Caregivers start to feel validated and realize they aren’t alone. They start to feel truly connected and part of a community which leads to meeting up on their own. They work together to provide their kids opportunities to practice social situations in the safety of each other’s company. Sometimes they feel so empowered, they start their own community groups to support others who are struggling. Did the disability go away? No. Did the hard go away? No. But now they have a safe community of support to call on hard days… defeating isolation, growing confidence and increasing hope!
Last month, four couples who were first introduced to each other at Pause, coordinated their schedules so their kids could attend Parent’s Night Out and they could go to Cooper’s Hawk for a night out together! If we don’t pay attention, we may miss what a big deal this is. We asked them to share more about what respite means to them, check it out!
“I’m so thankful for Pause and all they do to provide support and connection for the entire family. The staff and volunteers truly work hard to provide unforgettable experiences for everyone! There is literally nothing else in the community even remotely comparable to Pause. My family and I had been searching for respite for a long time, but what we found was so much more! We found connection, fun, acceptance, encouragement, hope, friendships and the list goes on. I can rest easy dropping my kids off at Parents Night Out knowing they will feel safe, truly seen and heard all while having a blast! The volunteers are such a blessing. They are showing up in BIG ways and go with the flow. I love that we (the adults) get to rest and reset just like the kiddos. Pause has been one of the biggest blessings our family has had a chance to be a part of. Everything is done with such intention down to every detail. My husband and I have met some true meaningful friendships along the way and we feel hope and connection knowing others truly get it. ALL of IT. They accept your kids for who they were uniquely created to be and grow to love their kids like your own. We were able to all join in together at a nice dinner and pour back into our self care tanks. I know I had as much fun as my kids did! We have been through some very difficult seasons and are so thankful for the support of the Pause family. I tell everyone about Pause because simply put it is ‘Pauseome.’” :)
- JR & DR
“Respite is so important to our family because it's often the only time we go out without our children as a couple. We have used the Pause respite events for several years now. Our Anniversary is in July and we have a tradition of going to Cooper's Hawk for a nice meal every Fall to celebrate once Parent’s Night Out (PNO) starts back up again! We rarely ever have the chance to both go out with a group of friends at the same time together. Finding responsible and reliable childcare is a significant challenge for us and others in the Pause community. When children have a variety of needs and medications, it is too much for a neighborhood teen to manage and be responsible for, and so for us and many families, going out and finding a trusting babysitter is extremely rare. Having the respite event allowed us to have a nice dinner, night of laughter, and connect with other Pause caregivers that we are friends with. For the four families to secure childcare on the same night would have been impossible without Pause's PNO. By attending other events, online trainings, and the Pause Family Network page, we have made friends with people in the program and decided to all try and register for the same event at the same time so we could all have safe, trusted, reliable respite provided by Pause and we could spend some time together without our children strengthening our friendships and connecting our husbands so they could develop friendships as well.”
- TG & DG
“When we reflect on our special needs journey, Pause has been a major part of our resilience and survival story. Many of our friendships have developed from meeting at Pause events or connecting online. We took the opportunity at the February Parent's Night Out to have a quadruple date with 3 of the families we have become close with. We dropped the kids off at Pause and met at Cooper's Hawk to enjoy a kid-free dinner. We haven't been out with other couples for dinner like this since before kids! We laughed, ate, drank, celebrated, commiserated and shared life together in a way we could never do without the support of Pause. Besides grandparents, we have no other childcare for our boys and the idea of coordinating 4 families schedules to plan a dinner is daunting. Pause made it easy and we can't wait to do it again!”
- RB & SB
“Respite care helps us restore balance in our lives. Pause has allowed us to take the time to recover from the stresses of caregiving and allows us the flexibility to take care of other important aspects of our lives and giving us an opportunity to refresh, relax, and recharge. Pause also gives us an opportunity to connect with other caregivers who are in similar situations that we go through. This allows us to talk and compare notes and give and get guidance, information, and feedback on how to better take care of our children or deal with situations in caregiving. The most important thing that Pause gives us is peace of mind that our children are safe and being taken care of by people who know and understand their needs. The staff and volunteers are properly prepared and truly enjoy their time with our kiddos. This allows the respite we definitely need.”
- JI & RI
CAN DO - thank you for your time, talent and resources that make providing respite to these families possible. Thank you for opening your heart to families with special needs and helping us create a safe and inclusive community.
This is CAN DO. This is COMMUNITY. This is YOUR SUPPORT.
